{"id":4035,"date":"2022-07-08T18:53:13","date_gmt":"2022-07-08T23:53:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sanfordrose.com\/fairhope\/our-words-matter\/"},"modified":"2022-07-08T18:53:13","modified_gmt":"2022-07-08T23:53:13","slug":"our-words-matter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sanfordrose.com\/fairhope\/our-words-matter\/","title":{"rendered":"Our Words Matter"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Humans speak their first fully-formed words sometime between 9 \u2013 12 months of age. It\u2019s a big deal, delighting our parents and launching us into the world of interactive communication. For the rest of our lives, words are the foundation of (almost) everything we do. Psychologist and author Dr. Jordan Peterson says, <em>\u201cIf you can think, speak and write, you are absolutely deadly. Nothing can get in your way.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>If Dr. Peterson is right, then why are we so often inattentive to, and careless with,\u00a0 the manner in which we use our words? There are lots of possible answers, but a step back reveals a couple of big themes:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Thoughtlessness and impulsivity<\/li>\n<li>Talking to much<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Thoughtlessness and Impulsivity<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Sounds harsh, right? Thoughtless and impulsive aren\u2019t character traits that most of us aspire to, right? Yet when we think deeply, the terms are accurate. The key is to remove our cognitive bias, understanding that when we are thoughtless or impulsive, it doesn\u2019t mean we are mean-spirited or stupid. It means we weren\u2019t being mindful. We reacted. There was no gap between stimulus and response. Keep in mind that hearing is not listening; active listening requires temporarily setting your world aside and concentrating on the other person\u2019s message and meaning. Evaluations, decisions and reactions can come later.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Talking Too Much<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Talking too much is all about math. It\u2019s the law of probabilities at work \u2013 the more words we speak or write, the higher the likelihood we will say or write some we regret. We also greatly increase the chances the audience for those words loses interest and tunes us out.<\/p>\n<p>Do not underestimate the importance that words have when either strengthening bonds or fracturing them. Regardless of whether the words are spoken or written in a casual interaction, in a frustrating or disappointing situation, or during a critical review, be acutely aware of the power of your vocabulary. Our words matter, and we can always be more attentive to them and careful with them.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Making Our Words Matter<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>To be \u2013 as Jordan Peterson says \u2013 absolutely deadly, with nothing getting in our way \u2013 it\u2019s important to recognize that \u201cusing our words\u201d is something we must work to improve. The most successful people treat this as a craft they are honing continuously. Here are some suggestions to ensure that your words matter:<\/p>\n<p><strong>1: \u00a0Pre-Game Your Conversation<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is, without question, one of the most valuable things you can do.\u00a0 Before speaking or writing \u2013 whenever possible \u2013 prepare mentally in advance. What do you plan to say? How do you plan to say it? Speak it out loud so you hear how it sounds. You\u2019ll be amazed at how often it improves both the <em>actual<\/em> words you choose and the <em>volume<\/em> of words you use. Mark Twain said, <em>\u201cThe difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>2: \u00a0Eliminate Unnecessary Words<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Great communicators are masters of efficiency. They don\u2019t waste words. Consider the word \u201cjust\u201d, for example. Consider eliminating this word. Why? Because it diminishes whatever follows it. <em>\u201cI just called to say I love you.\u201d<\/em> (Thanks Stevie Wonder). <em>\u201cI just wanted to get an update on the project status.\u201d<\/em> Prefacing with \u201cjust\u201d diminishes the importance of communicating love or getting that project update.\u00a0 Other words that fall into this category are \u201creally,\u201d \u201cquite,\u201d and \u201cliterally.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>3:\u00a0 Say What You Mean<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s another opportunity to remove cognitive bias from the equation. \u201cBeing direct\u201d gets a bad rap. One can be direct in a manner that isn\u2019t unpleasant. Being direct conveys confidence. It positions you as authentic and transparent. It saves time and reduces the risk of being misinterpreted. Consider the above two examples stated differently: <em>\u201cI called to say I love you\u201d <\/em>and <em>\u201cI want to get an update on the project status.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 Those are much stronger statements that are received much differently in the absence of \u2018just\u2019 one word.<\/p>\n<p><strong>4:\u00a0 Use Simple Words<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A master of brevity and wit, Churchill said, <em>\u201cShort words are best and old words when short are the best of all.\u201d<\/em> Simple words are sharp, clear and to the point. Our brains, eyes and mouths don\u2019t struggle with them. Simple words get your message across fast. In today\u2019s attention-deficit world where so many don\u2019t want to read or listen, simple words are a competitive advantage.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5:\u00a0 Use Bullet Point Theory<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Talking too much is often caused by social anxiety. Thinking and communicating around a small number of bullet points can be extremely helpful. Concise bullets are mental anchors that provide comfort and keep us from drifting too far off track with our words.<\/p>\n<p><strong>6:\u00a0 Practice the Two-Second Rule<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is easy to say and hard(er) to do. Count for two seconds before replying to something that\u2019s said to you. There are several\u00a0 benefits to this practice, one of which is to allow yourself a moment to formulate a response \u2013 enough time (hopefully) to avoid one that is thoughtless or impulsive.<\/p>\n<p>We spend a huge percentage of our waking hours with words. A University of California, San Diego study estimated the average American consumes over 100,000 words every day. The ambient noise level in our lives has never been higher. How do we break through so that we can be heard?\u00a0 By making sure our words matter.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014Karen Schmidt<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Humans speak their first fully-formed words sometime between 9 \u2013 12 months of age. It\u2019s a big deal, delighting our parents and launching us into the world of interactive communication. For the rest of our lives, words are the foundation of (almost) everything we do. Psychologist and author Dr. Jordan Peterson says, \u201cIf you can [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[7,9],"class_list":["post-4035","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sra-updates","tag-sanford-rose-associates-best-practices","tag-sra-update"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Our Words Matter<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Humans speak their first fully-formed words sometime between 9 \u2013 12 months of age. 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